Had been away for quite a while and I bet you miss me so :D
No lah, just joking!
I'm trying to make myself feel better after having quite a lousy week.
Recent incidents chased away all my 'happiness' and I don't really feel as cheerful as before :(
I'm not over with the fact that I failed my FTT for the second time; it was such a disappointment.
I studied but it seemed to have gone down the drain.
I don't know what's happening. Whatever I do, nothing seems to be in my way.
There's a lot in my mind now and it's in a mess!

Another thing, I couldn't donate blood.
The doctor said that I have low blood pressure and when she questioned about why my blood pressure is so low, she asked me again if I'm having a healthy diet.
With those eyes I can tell that she categorised me under the don't-eat-so-that-I-can-be-skinny group.
I AM CERTAINLY NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL!
Obviously, I was stunned by that.
I'm not sure if she took it as though I reacted in the way that she's right.
Even Hon and the rest were shocked when I told them about this.
They knew that I can't survive without FOOD so there's no reason I'm going to skip my meal.
My mum was so supportive of me that she laughed out loud when I said I couldn't donate blood and ended up getting pills from the doctor to replenish iron into my body.
She even told her friend -.- and ya, her friend laughed too.
Funny huh? No, I'm not in the mood to laugh.

Some other things are more or less private so I'm not going to blog it out here.
Those things are also reasons why I'm so moody.

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Everyday when I look myself into the mirror, I will ponder what other people think of me.
Some may dislike me, some may not.
Some may admire me, while the rest may not.
For so many reasons that I'm here, I am thankful.
Be it good or bad comments I had received so far about me, it helped me grow.
Grown to be smarter, more confident, much more aware of my image and the people around me.
There's always good and bad people. And I will always keep the good ones with me 'cause they are important.
To speak the truth, I hated my secondary school life.
It's like the worst years of my life.
Besides the good friends and teachers I've got, the rest just sucks to the core.
For some reasons, a lot of assholes dislike me. Till now I still don't get a good reason why they were like that.
You can say it's very normal during high school but I detest it.
I used to get a lot of rumours saying that I play around guys' feeling and got together with an ass for his money etc etc.
For whatever reason they did that I took it as though they got no life.
It really made me felt miserable at that time and I even had sucidal thoughts.
I committed so much for my CCA but I wasn't recognised by the new teacher-in-charge and so I didn't get an A which I thought I deserve it.
Nothing's fair. When you are shy and reserved, you are not outstanding enough for people to see.
The world goes around like this for me.

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I don't like it when people get the idea that I am just some 'playful' girl who's not serious.
Or just some flower vase for my boyfriend to show off.
Or maybe some girl who gets all whiny when she saw something she likes or hates.
I'm not that kind of girl. JT, my mum and my close friends know me best.
And I admitted that I'm not very girly, I have a very strong-headed personality and dislike anything too girlish.
I am very independent since young and can also take good care of others besides myself.
That's how my mum brought me up and I'm glad that I don't belong to the bimbo category.
I still prefer to be someone with brain and independent personality.
I remembered that there's once an intervention about China ladies insulting Singaporean ladies for their not-so-pretty images and then in turn saying that they are, however, smart.
Can tell that those cheena-s doesn't have the brain to think that internal beauty has already taken over the external beauty in this modern society.
They are so outdated!
Moreover, I don't think cheena-s are that good looking anyway.
Frankly speaking, I don't like cheena-s!

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It's the 3rd once again :) Which spells the 16th month being together with JT this May.
JT is very very important to me and he really got me falling in love like never before.
He knows me very well even though I hate the fact that he can tell what I was thinking, but it's cool to have things happen in this way 'cause sometimes I need someone to really knock me with some sense and make me think through my mistakes instead of just giving in to me.
For the past 16 months, it is so far the best time of my life.
I feel so loved being with him, what more can I ask for ? :)
I'm gonna say this here - I LOVE JEREMY TAY GQ :)
You are the best boyfriend in this world!
Happy 16th month anniversary baby ;D

I just realised that this post is kind of long!

Well, it's time to head to bed now.
Goodnight :)